A few years ago when I noticed I had gotten bigger, I went to the doctor hoping that I had a thyroid problem or some other excuse for the weight I had gained. Nope, nothing wrong. I was just big. In fact, he told me I was 5 pounds from being overweight. I hated him for telling me that and cried to my mom saying I would never go back to him again. I was too afraid to face the facts that my body was consuming nothing but terrible things and it was MY fault. But, there was one positive thing I took with me that day... he said that if I ate 1,500 calories a day and burned at least 400 calories per day, I could lose the weight. He didn't clearly mention the eating healthy part or how obsessed I would get with counting calories...
I was mortified when he told me I needed to start being more active. I literally started the next day. I would get on the elliptical and go until I burned 400 calories. I actually got a little hooked... A little too hooked. I started to go on the elliptical and burn 800-1,000 calories (at least that's what the machine told me) everyday. Not only was I doing that, but I was still eating what I wanted to, buuuuut within the 1,500 calorie scale...so that was okay, right? It turns out that I wasn't getting enough calories because I was burning it all off, I was eating Chickfila and other crap, and I was becoming more tired and unmotivated because of the lack of nutrients.
Well, I definitely had lost weight after a while, but I wasn't happy. I felt like poop after every meal I ate. I ate breakfast lunch, and dinner (and remember, it was mainly fast food...this is college we're talking about), but no snacks in between so my metabolism was pretty low. But at last! I was "skinny." You know, the kind where people tell you you've lost weight and you know you have too, but you still notice the detailed pieces of fat on your body. Ugh. I was working SO hard and I still didn't look like those perfectly tiny, tan, models.
Well, almost three years later, I've come to the realization that my body will never be like the images I see on Pinterest, Instagram, in magazines, etc. Actually, I'm glad I don't look like those images because I wouldn't be ME! I mean, let's face it... Everybody is different! And that's a good thing!
I now realize that no matter what my body ends up looking like, I will love it. It's the only body I have and I'm so fortunate for it. God gave me this body and I'm so completely thankful to have it. I was too selfish to look past the fake, airbrushed ads and pictures, to realize what He has provided me with! This is MY body, so I'm not going to waste my time wishing to be in somebody else's. Instead, I'm going use the body God gave me and treat it with respect. That means my goal now is to be happy, the whole me, inside and out.
To do this, I am going to enjoy the things I love to do and do what my body is capable of doing... Eat what it's supposed to eat and be active!
My life has changed drastically over the last three years, and honestly, if I told you I was on this journey alone I'd be lying. I couldn't do it without a support system and a lot of motivation. Justin was my boyfriend at the time, but now he is my husband. He has been holding my hand through this life style change and I know he's not letting go anytime soon.
He was on a journey before meeting me when it came to becoming healthier, and he really has inspired me to do the same. Not only is he my workout buddy, but he reminds me not to give up on my goals. It's awesome to have such an amazing person to share this life style change with! Whether it's a friend, family member, coworker, or even a blogger (heeeeyyyy), I'd say it's definitely easier, more motivating, and more fun to aim for a healthier life style with a partner.
The journey that Justin and I are on is not done. We have different bodies (obviously) but we are both working to continue to eat better, stay active, and aim for new fitness goals.
So without further ado, I want to show you my "before" picture and my "now" picture...
I'm not perfect and that's perfectly okay! BUT I can honestly say, within the past few months is when I have noticed the biggest results in the way my body looks! It turns out that it didn't take me very long for my body to start changing, it just took me a long time to realize to love the body I'm in. Since I started consuming more of what my body needs and physically feeling better, my mentality has also been better! I don't feel crappy all the time anymore, I don't feel ashamed, I don't feel as insecure. I'm happy!
You can truly do whatever you set your mind to do. It might take a bit of time, but you can do it! You just have to believe in yourself. Start by loving the body you are in. It's the only one you have. Your body can change however YOU want it to, whether that's by eating bad, good, not being active, or being active. It's up to you, but also know that you are not alone. You have so many people around you who support you and feel or have have felt the same way you do, including me!
I hope you enjoyed a little more about my journey I'm on and of course I love to hear about yours. Y'all really are making my days with the comments, advice, and wonderful encouragement. I know I'm the one wanting to encourage you guys, but really, y'all are doing the job in return!
Have a wonderful weekend!
P.S. I will post my journal entries from my goal challenge ASAP!